My family is in a phase of life right now that I’ve come to call the “waiting on results” phase. Whenever anyone calls or texts to check in on us my response is always, “We’re good, just waiting on results”.
Our youngest daughter, Evelyn, has been diagnosed with a hereditary retinal disease and we have been waiting on results from a salivary genetic test sample we sent to a lab in California 2 weeks ago. Normal processing time before the pandemic was 2-3 weeks. This test will be able to tell us not only exactly which condition she has but which genes are mutated and which parent, or both, the condition has come from so we know if any of our other 4 children are also at risk and need to be tested as well.
Also during this time my older sister and my son and I all got sick at the same time and as many in our world are experiencing, or have, or will experience, are awaiting our results from our Covid-19 test.
In my own home, my son and I are quarantined while awaiting our results while not feeling well. So my husband and girls live upstairs, my son and I live downstairs. Thank God for our bi-level home!
But it’s during this time in life in which we are in this holding pattern of waiting for so many results that I can’t help but think,
“Am I waiting on results from God?”
“Is God waiting on results from me?”
I’ve been studying recently about Gideon and Jeremiah the prophets and have been struck by how big what God asked them to do was!
Jeremiah had to deliver message after message of the impending destruction of the nations around him and Gideon not only had to prophesy to the Israelites but he also had to be a mighty warrior of God!
I don’t know about you but I am so thankful that’s not my calling!
My calling is to do something so simple, something I’ve been doing nearly all my life anyway. My calling is to write.
So even right now, when I am experiencing moments of true despair and weakness, all I have to do is write. I don’t have to always be the strong one. I don’t have to have it all figured out. All I have to do is be honest and write.
Something so simple and yet something so easily neglected without humility. Life has been really hard lately and instead of leaning in I’ve instead decided to neglect my calling and for that I am sorry because I know life is hard for many of us, especially right now.
I started this article while we were waiting for results and now all the results are in and I want to run and hid and feel bad for my baby but I am instead choosing to stand firm. I will not neglect my calling because God has never, nor will He ever, neglect me or my family.
These results are hard. Stargardt’s disease currently has no cure or available treatments. All I can think about are all the things in life that will be difficult or impossible for her as her disease progresses and her central vision deteriorates further. And even now as I struggled to find words I start humming;
leaning on the everlasting arms
That’s the call for all of us:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding,
in all your ways submit to Him
and He will make your paths straight.
Dwelling on the limitations of low vision in my daughter’s future is fulfilling none of God’s commands so I will instead abandon it along with any other thought that does not bring me closer to Him.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5
I have always loved the power of this verse. Such boldness! Thankfully, because that’s what this journey is going to require because with such a bleak prognosis from the world we are counting on our God for a mighty miracle!
As I type I am again struck with His wonderful lyrics and hum:
What a fellowship, what a joy divine
What are you facing today? What “results” are you waiting for? What “results” is God waiting on from you? We can face all of it with this divine joy because those everlasting arms will always be open and ready for us.
May God bless you this week as you learn to live while “waiting on results”.