Let me start this week’s article by saying this. I have found nowhere in the Bible where it states that someone who commits suicide will go to Hell. Do I know if someone can still go to Heaven if they take their own life? Of course I don’t, no one does except for our Father in Heaven, but what I do know is that God sent His only Son to die for us and He would never have done that if we weren’t worth the risk.
I am worth it and you are worth it and Caity is worth it, even on our lowest days we are worthy of His love and nothing we can do can separate us from that love.
Having grown up in a broken family Caity struggled to find love and find her worth amidst the brokenness and soon started contemplating suicide in her early teens. She knows it was by God’s grace that she never went through with it, but still the thoughts would return like an unwanted friend. When these thoughts would return, she would get little gifts from God that she calls “God feelings” that provided an escape for her each time.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
The escape that followers of Christ are blessed with are that given to us by God, not by man. Suicide is man’s escape and we are called to be conformed not to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds in Christ Jesus! (Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.)
Caity’s life is a testament to the reality and strength of God’s escape. She knew her only escape from the darkness was to draw near to the light and wow, her light is unmistakable. She is one of those people that truly lights up a room when she walks in, she radiates the love of Jesus in a way each of us should aspire to.
She is unashamed of her journey in a way I’ve never seen in an 18-year-old. She jokes that people tell her she is more like a 40-year-old than an 18-year-old and I see why! She had to grow up young and she has embraced every step of her journey with a grace and a peace that can only be from the Lord.
Mental illness is the same as physical illness. It’s our minds and our emotions telling us that something is out of balance just like our bodies telling us it is off balance when we have a cold or the flu.
Caity was professionally diagnosed just a few short months ago and she is so blessed to be getting the help, through counselling and medication, she felt she has always needed and prays others will find the courage and hope to seek help themselves through her story.
But remember, clinical help is not the only help available. Caity attends 3 different churches because she knows, more than anything, that she needs fellowship with other believers as one of her most important sources of light in her life. She finds different sources of strength and support in each of her brothers and sisters in Christ and through them she has begun to see her true potential; who she truly is in Christ’s name; a beloved daughter of the Almighty King, just as each one of us are.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help each one of us to see ourselves through your eyes as Caity has shown us. Show us that we are beautiful and beloved and loved unconditionally and that you will never ever leave, nor forsake us, that we will be your beloved daughters and sons until Christ comes again for us. Please Lord, bless anyone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts a “God feeling”, someone or something that they can cling to during those dark moments, that they will see your light shining hope into their lives and bless those who help and comfort each other in hard times.
In Jesus’ name I pray,